Epiphony Les Mal guitar

Oh hey there! I couldn't help but notice that you have a face, and that said face is now pointed in the general direction of this ad and you just so happen to be dragging your dual optical spheres roughly across the page in a left to right, up to down direction as these words slowly seep into the folds and crevices of your squishy brain. Good choice, sailor. I like the cut of your jib, which is why I am going to let you in on a little known secret that only you and I will know (don't tell anyone): you have talent. I know! I know! So many of your various parents, pastors, teachers, pets, uncles, and indeed even that one weird grief councillor that smelled vaguely of butter tarts always have maintained the same thing, repeated over and over at you, into your various face holes until it became part of your very soul; every single one of them has stated you didn't have a talent, that you would never amount to anything.

I'm here to tell you otherwise because even though we've only just met, I promise that I know more about you than anyone you've ever met before. That is a guarantee you can take to the bank!*

*not actually a guarantee

"But" I hear you screaming into your monitor as if I care "I have tried doing a talent before! It's only ever resulted in embarrassment and humiliation at great expense to me financially, to my ancestors historically, and to the worlds population generally when the aliens finally invade and they find that one video I uploaded in high school."

While this may very well be true, I will ask of you just one question and one question alone: have you seen how cool people look while holding a guitar? Yeah, that's what I thought. You know exactly what I am talking about because you've seen it too, you've absolutely seen just how instantly cool people are when they're holding up a bit of wood with some strings hastily wrapped around it. This is a universal truth and herein lies your true talent: you too can be cool while holding a guitar. Maybe a black one, maybe an electric one, maybe a black, electric guitar like this one I am selling here! Now you're cooking with butter! Lets get you one dose of Talent™

If you are looking for a different model of guitar feel free to reach out to me! I would love to make more of these. Check out my profile for other makes and models!

Buckle up, cowboy, the features are coming fast and loose at your face:

• Modelled on the iconic (and amazingly cheap) Epiphone Melody Maker E1 but is legally distinct because of the branding reading Epiphony Les Mal (my lawyer says this will work maybe)
• 6 whole strings of pure bliss - E standard tuning
• Freshly oiled mahogany-like fretboard
• Ceramic single-coil pickups that everybody hates!
• Artisanally crafted by only the worst treated, minimum wage employees that actively hate their life (more than you do)
• Approxinately 7638 tris for this highly detailed economy model
• Easy-on-the-eyes texture map to make recolours simple and straight forward
• Wanna have a smell in new-age 3D before you buy? Glance over to my Sketchfab page today!
• Actual, true-to-life feeling of buying a guitar but still not being able to play it as the useless chunk of wood just sits in a corner with the rest of your hopes and dreams as they slowly wear your will down every time you look at them. Bit by bit their haunting visage will break you with the reminder of how many parts of your past you've tried to leave behind but just cannot escape from.
• It's black and white!

A full, actual, concise list of what you'll get if you slap a dollar onto the desk in exchange for this model:

• The fully textured, rendered by hand model (no AI was used in the production of this or any of my other models and there never will be)
• A Unity project file with the FBX, textures, materials, and a prefab for easy drag-and-drop performance into your project (world or avatar)
• 3 whole, unedited 2K resolution textures
• Substance Painter file (making it super easy to change the colour of certain elements if wanted - version 8.3.1)
• My unwavering promise that you'll forever be cool with this asset in your arsenal

What you should know before you buy:

• Packaged in Unity 2022.3.22f1, but is likely backwards compatible
• A general working knowledge of Unity is recommended
• License is for private, non-commercial use only. Please contact us in advance if you would like to purchase a commercial license.
• Attribution would be appreciated <3
• Does not come with guitar lessons or any skill
• If you need a lower poly version, please contact us before you buy via Discord and we will try to accommodate!

Who we are:

We are two 3D content producers specializing in unique models, avatar accessories, VR worlds and experiences, and beautifully done, well written and documented code. Ms Malvolio does the 3D modeling work and texturing. Corina does the programming. We have released VR Chat game worlds, avatar prefabs, furniture packs, small models, and some small artwork. Our goal is to make others enjoy working in Unity as much as we do, and have something cool to show for it!